The world is at a stand still…
I sat one day and reflected on how much this affected my ‘world tour plan.’ (5 years, 5 regions, 5 countries).
As I couldn’t go anywhere (to an event down da road much less a whole other country), I realized I was yearning to become uncomfortable with my surroundings again and unfamiliar with the norm of everyday. I quickly realized this is what I had been relying on my travels for – to get me out of my comfort zone.
Travel always forced me to adapt, adjust and grow – overcome fears I didn’t even know I had. I wanted to continue that.
But now that my physical environment was static, what could I do to invoke the same fear and excitement that travel brought? How else could I accomplish ‘getting out of my comfort zone’ and changing for the better?
“2020 cya pass without some growth/shake up in my life (controlled by me)”
-Global Gyal
While I scoured my brain for options, I brought it to a friend’s attention. They suggested that since I can’t change my outer environment, maybe I could work on changing my inner one.
My emotions, my vulnerability and the huge fear I have of opening up to others.
A.K.A My inner self
*I stared blankly at the crazy person for their insane suggestion*
But while I did, I knew it wasn’t crazy. Being vulnerable and talking about things I don’t normally with my friends and family would DEFINITELY be something I find terrifying. The idea of sharing thoughts that have swirled around my head for years and shared with no one can put as much fear in me (if not more) as landing in a new country without a plan.
I’d be COMPLETELY uncomfortable and it would be outside my norm. But, it would also help me grow 🤷🏾♀️.
I’d be challenged emotionally and mentally. And in opening up, it could potentially help me let go of a lot of things….
“Some of us are still healing from things we don’t talk about”
“Deal with your demons”
Two quotes (one from an anonymous facebook post and one from another person I know) that still ring true in my life.
But, ones I hope to change.
I’d be more afraid of 2021 rolling around and nothing at all changing in my life vs. the fear of opening up and being vulnerable with my emotions to others.
I may not have control over my physical environment – being able to travel overseas etc. but I do have control over my inner one. I can choose to make the conscious effort and work on my mental health.
I shared this mind blowing idea with close friends and asked them to keep me accountable (ask me the hard questions. Don’t let me dodge them).
Even though it’s only the second week, I like where I’m going. It’s hard. It’s emotional. It’s challenging and I’m doing and talking about things that make my skin scrawl. But, they need to be talked about.
I’m uncomfortable 🙂
I guess fear drives you to do things, both good and bad. It’s why I’ve found myself in this position in the first place. But it’s also what I’m going to use to get myself out of here.
Thanks for always reading.
Yours Truly,
Global Gyal
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