[A Post to Myself]
What do I want to write, so that when I look back, I know EXACTLY the position I was in at this point in time?
What would I like myself to know?
Well, you’re chilling.
It’s as though you’re in cruise control. After the rough take off, but before the bumpy landing.
You’re doing your best to go about your daily life, as though everything’s normal (even though there’s a health pandemic).
You’re talking to some of your closest friends more. In frequency as well as depth of conversation. One of your goals for your 27th year was to be more open with them. Be more vulnerable. Talk about things that you don’t normally.
You’ve always been a ‘private’ person. But, there’s a difference between being ‘private’ and not sharing because you’re too scared to even think about that stuff yourself.
You’re working on worrying less.
About things you cannot control – visa applications, people’s feelings.
You still stay indoors – only go outside for groceries or for a walk ever so often.
You READ wayy more.
I think you’ve gone through 6 books in 5 weeks? And you’re on to your 7th one now. That’s something you’re glad you’ve started to do consistently again. (Does not include the ones you started but didn’t finish lol).
You’re also trying to balance.
Balance the pressure (from yourself) to consistently create, and do things for yourself – like nap (yes. I still nap), talk on the phone, or check up on friends. You’re presently in a very unique situation as you have control over most of your time – it’s the flexibility of being an Au pair. So, you’re trying to using it productively but also, not. Cause, you have the rest of your life to stress, ent it?
You keep a pulse on things going on back home in the Caribbean (via Facebook, you must admit), and try to make sure you’re up to date with the latest news from family.
You’re cruising. And that’s okay.
You’re grateful, reflective and thankful – for the days past, and the days ahead.
That’s you right now.
Yours truly,
Global Gyal
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